Shrink Rap


Mmmm...Germany. Well, Germany is a sort of rude awakening. Everything has happened to me in Germany. I died there. That was when my heart stopped.It was just exhaustion; I passed out and my heart stopped for about two or three minutes. It was great going back there to do "Auf Wiedersehen, Pet" except it wasn't on the level of rock'n'roll. It was a bit artificial because we were treated so special, No one knew why we were being treated like that, staying in the best hotels...I felt a bit uncomfortable.


Carlene Carter

Every man's ideal woman, but no man would want to be with her. She's wonderful, such a good friend, but she's equally friendly to everybody. I wouldn't like to have her as my woman.






Heavy Metal

Music for kids...young music. In moderation, I like it, but I like what it does rather than the sound of it. I like the fact that it can turn on so many people, and it's such a basic art form. It makes music accessible to kids.



Licence, I don't think that people who need a television as a tool of their trade should have to pay for their licence. I'm having trouble about mine, but I'm gonna make a stand about paying it. I'm gonna make my point, I'm gonna see how far I can go, and after that if I have to pay the licence fee then I will. Television is not a luxury for me, it's a tool.


Social Security

I've never heard of it.


Max Splodge

A future star, definitely. The first time he rang me up, I think he did it as a dare. I could hear all his band laughing in the background. We met, and we had so much in common. I find him very funny - every time I go out with him is stomach ache time. He's told me how much the Heavy Metal Kids were on him, and that's a nice compliment, but I still think he does his act with a bit more originality than I did in those days. Max deserves a bit more than he's already got. As soon as he assesses his own worth, once he's prepared to compromise which you have to do in this business, he'll be successful to the extent that he deserves.






I believe in it. My home life makes me happy, and my kids, especially my kids. Coming up with an idea and completing it in the course of my job makes me very happy too.


Gary Holton

There are two Gary Holtons: the real one, the person, and Gary Holton the actor. The person wants to be alright, he just wants to be one of the lads, really...quite a normal person. The actor does what people expect - when I'm in the mood. People expect me to be a lot more outrageous than I am, and I don't go out of my way to do it - it's just second nature. That gives me my sanity at home. Everything I do outside I can blame on Gary Holton the actor.


Holiday Romances

Very good calling card.



I'm totally anti-drugs now. I had a very near miss at one time. I still drink alcohol, even though I consider that to be a drug. I do find it difficult to relax by myself. But I won't go to anything stronger than alcohol anymore. And eventually I'd like to have no mind altering substances at all in me.



Bad memories. I lived in one once and it was horrible. I can't see anything glamorous in being poor.



A lot of people say that you have to starve to be good, but the comfier I am the better I get. If I don't have to worry about the day-to-day issues that lack of money can bring, then I work better and I'm more relaxed. I don't need to starve for my art. I like what money gets me, although I don't like the idea of power or status. I'm not impressed by rich or poor people, and money doesn't make you a better or worse person: if you have it, you just cut a few corners and it saves a hell of a lot of time. I do believe that money in the city is an essential commodity.



Oh, wow!


The Fifties

I was born in the Fifties. My mum and dad were a Ted and a Ted-ette. I like Teds 'cos they come across all hard when they're really like softies. It's a good fashion as well, and I often use it. It's quite timeless. Without the FiftiesI don't think I would've had this sort of career. Teds brought it home to working people that given talent, you could actually crack it; you didn't have to come from a theatrical or musical background. The Fifties brought it down to street level, and that was the beginning of fashion as we know it.



I've only ever thought about it. I know people who have tried, but I've only ever contemplated it. I've never really done anything about it. It's an easy way out.



It's instinct with me.


Record Companies

Big established companies I find a bit of a pain in the arse, waiting for two weeks to get an appointment with the messenger boy. I'm with Magnet now. They're young, they're small and I like it.



I get very nervous in their surroundings, I don't know why. I haven't doe anything illegal for years and years but I still find cops very unnerving.



My heroes at the moment are Big Country and The Alarm. They're rock'n'rolling, they're keeping rock'n'roll alive. I really thought that punks and new romantics were very shallow - rock'n'roll is a way of life, definitely. I can't get to grips with synthesiser bands - I'll use synthesisers if it suits me, but I find them generally too restricting, too rigid. I'm very old fashioned about that.



I don't have sex, I make love.


The stage

It's another love...I don't know what the attraction is. It makes me frustrated and it makes me happy and all the cliches you can think of. I don't like talking about it because it's corny, but it gives me all the emotions of a love affair. I feel so relaxed and at home on stage.



I detest it.


World War Three

Inevitable I think. I don't worry about it for myself, but I do worry about my kids. I'm more scared of the aftermath of the bomb than the actual bomb. If it should go off then I want to be underneath it, pissed. I'd just grab hold of my old lady and say: "Right darling..." and do as good as I possibly could under the circumstances.